What do I do if I’m thinking about divorcing?

The first thing to do if you think you may be facing a divorce is to consider how your spouse would respond to the news that you want a divorce (or that you know he or she wants a divorce).  The resentment and mistrust that stem from surprising your spouse with unwelcome news is the surest way to get your divorce off on the wrong foot, potentially opening the door to hotly contested litigation. 

On the other hand, open dialogue at the beginning of the dissolution of a marriage can save a lot of heartache and litigation expenses.  Of course, once a marriage starts to crumble, communication has often already broken down, so use your judgment - based on what you know about your spouse - to determine whether a straightforward conversation about separating will ease tensions, or inflame them.

Either way, it may be wise - prior to broaching the subject of divorce with your spouse - to obtain copies of as much pertinent financial information as possible, including but not limited to: 

• Monthly statements for retirement plans, mortgages, bank accounts, and investments; 
• Tax returns; 
• Cell phone records; 
• Screen captures of your spouse's social media accounts, if there is anything there you think may be pertinent; 
• Credit reports/histories; and,
• HUD-1 statements for any real estate owned by you and/or your spouse.